Hi, I’m Beth, and I’m a fraud.
I realize that’s a pretty dramatic statement, but it’s truly how I feel right now. And in these days of fake news, telling the hard truth (before someone tells it for you) and owning that truth, that’s what people want. And it’s what you deserve from me.
Almost three years ago, I started Eat Within Your Means. And in that time I’ve shared a bit about my former weight loss success, and subsequently gaining all that weight back. The tagline for EWYM is “fatten your wallet, skinny your jeans”. Except, in three years, I havent really figured out how to do either of those things for myself. Hence, I feel like a big fat fraud.
Right now, this moment, I stand 5 foot 7 inches tall and weigh in at about 230 pounds. It’s incredibly difficult for me to tell you that, but it’s not like I can really hide it. Especially not when I’m doing television appearances on a regular basis – that HD camera, folks, it’s a truth-teller if there ever was one. So there’s my truth. Now that it’s out in the open, what’s next?
I don’t want to be a fraud anymore. I want to be able to confidently share tips and recipes to fatten your wallet and skinny your jeans because they have worked for me. I could just change the name of the blog to “Food that Doesn’t Suck”, and take the pressure off, but I really do want to learn how to eat within my means. And if you’re reading this, chances are you do too.
Can I tell you something though? I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to do it, and a year from now I’ll end up quietly walking away from EWYM under a cloud of shame. Except…SCREW YOU, FEAR. I’m done with you. I seriously just got goosebumps when I typed those words. I mean, it’s cold in here, but still. There was power in typing those words.
So, game on.
First things first, let’s set some SMART goals. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-Based.
I will lose 90 pounds.
My bathroom scale should work just fine. I also have a pair of red pants (Old Navy size 6) that I bought as my “goal pants” when I lost weight the first time around, and I never quite got into them. Being able to wear them comfortably would be a much more fun way to measure the goal.
I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
A goal weight of 140 pounds is realistic for someone of my size, frame, and gender. I don’t plan on building a ton of muscle bulk, but rather lean muscle. However, if I decide over time to focus more on building muscle, I may adjust this weight goal slightly with that in mind. At my lowest weight in 2010, I was 165 pounds and still felt like I had plenty lose without being underweight.
I will lose 90 pounds in 10 months (well, 9 months and 27 days), between now and the end of 2017. There are 43 weeks in that time, so I will need to lose approximately 2 pounds per week to reach my goal.
It felt really good to type that out. Now, how exactly am I going to achieve this goal?
That sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Simple, yes. Easy, no. If it were easy, I wouldn’t be struggling to do it. There are some obstacles in my way, both physical and mental, but that’s why I’m here, telling this truth, fighting this fight. Here’s how I intend to tackle it, with a bit more detail this time.
This is where the obstacles come in to play. Am I the only one who hears “ob-stack-les” in George Clooney’s voice from the movie Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Tell me I’m not alone in this. Anyway…moving more has been tough lately, because out of nowhere I’ve had some foot problems come up, specifically plantar fasciitis. Just the simple act of walking is often tough. But the last couple of days I’ve started to see some improvement, and haven’t woken up limping on my first steps out of bed, so here’s hoping that it’s getting better and that more movement will help and not hinder. For the short-term, I’m going to focus on walking and yoga. I’ve had to take a break from my Barre3 practice, which has been so hard, but I really hope that I’ll be able to go back very soon.
Daily steps goal: 15,000 (1 rest day where steps aren’t counted)
A better way to say this is “Eat Better”. So often my food choices lean toward the carb-heavy side, and that’s something I’m going to work to balance. I won’t give up my crusty bread with soup, but the soup to bread ratio will be more like 5:1 when before it was more like 1:5. That’s an exaggeration, but you get my point. My main focus is going to be on high-fiber, nutrient-dense foods, with consideration given to portion control.
Weekly meal planning and meal prep is going to start playing a much bigger role in my life (finally), but I can foresee there being some ramp-up time needed there. I tend to get grand ideas and then have trouble executing them, so even though I’m starting this at the beginning of the week, I have no idea what I’m even making for dinner tonight. As the weeks go by, I will be incorporating more meal planning/prep strategies, with the ultimate goal of making that a weekly habit. This will definitely help on the Fat Wallet front, as well.
For the first month, I don’t plan to count calories, but if I don’t see results from portion control and fewer carbs, then I may consider more strictly counting my calories. I’m choosing to avoid that at first, because 1) it’s a pain in the butt, and 2) I want to try to tune into my body’s cues regarding hunger and satiety.
When I’m scrolling through social media, I often see stories that focus on body image and health that seem to be at odds with each other. No one can really agree about what it truly means to be healthy and happy. I am all for being body-positive and loving yourself just as you are and all of that. Honestly, I am. As far as my own experience? I can only tell you that I don’t feel like me right now. And I remember, wistfully, how I felt when I lost weight in the past, even if I wasn’t at that all-elusive “goal weight”. I felt AMAZING. I felt like me. I took showers regularly and wore makeup and did my hair every day and actually enjoyed going shopping for clothes. I could walk up and down stairs without losing my breath and could go on a hike with my husband without trailing behind.
I don’t feel like me when I don’t have the energy to run around with my kids. I want to PLAY with them. And I want them to remember me as an active, happy momma, not one who told them to go run around while I sat on the couch because I was so tired after simply making dinner. So my goal in this effort is not only to live out what Eat Within Your Means is all about, but mostly to feel like Me again. We only have this one life, and I’m two weeks away from approaching the 38th year of mine (although Michael would have you believe I’m approaching my 40th, isn’t he sweet?), and I’m not willing to spend any more time not being myself. Ya dig?
So, I’ll be here, every week for the next 43 weeks (and beyond!), keeping you posted on how things are going. There will be recipes too, of course. Girl’s gotta eat. And if you want to see more of the in-depth goings on, I’ll be doing daily updates on my Instagram Story, in case you’re the stalker type who wants to know what I’m eating and drinking and doing for workouts and all that.
Here goes everything.